F.A.M.I.L.Y.



Elsie Starr and Famani sii playing soccer

 So since the last time I actually blogged we've been up to a lot.  Mostly enjoying the time with family and friends.  We are so pleased with the choice we've made to move to Utah and be closer to our loved ones.  It has proven to be more than we'd ever imagined it could possibly be worth it.  We are loving it!  

Famani sii and Sela at the Payson Festival

Elsie and Famani sii...LOL

Enjoying the hammock at Grammy Paula's

Todd, Kalonikakala, Famani sii and Elisa @ Temple square

Maile sii and Famani sii, getting ready for a sleepover. Yipee!!

W/ Sia's boys at Stanford's football game, love seeing them together

He's overcome some fears while we've been here...jumping on the trampoline

Pumpkin patch with our niece Sela

and our dear friends the Iongi's

Absolutely LOVE being near my sisters!

My niece Sela...love her little face!

Watching Stanford's football game

Participated in his 1st Primary Program

 If there's anything that we've learned in the short two months we've lived in Utah, it is this...absolutely nothing will bring more joy to our lives than the people we love and who love us.  We are so grateful to Heavenly Father for opening every possible window and door so that we could enjoy the time we have with our family.  It has been beyond amazing.  There is no doubt in our hearts and minds that the move was exactly what our family needed to bring into focus the importance of life.  We are so thankful and our hearts and home is filled with joy. 

Update...

Alot has happened in the last 2 months.  We've moved to Bountiful, Utah into our own place and we love it.  We love being close to family and having them nearby leaves very little time for blogging.  But I would change it for the world.  There's something so fulfilling about being close to family and friends.  Living life everyday with the ones you love instead of hearing about it from a distance.  I think Famani si'i has enjoyed the move most of all having his cousins close by and his grandparents on both sides close.  Our lives right now feel so rich and full of LIFE.  We are loving every second of it.  Once I get a chance to upload pics to our computer, you will be able to see the pictures.  In the meantime...just know, we are doing great and loving life and living it to the fullest.  :)

Happy 4th Birthday...

Happy 4th Birthday Famani si'i

Our sweet little boy turned 4 today.

We can hardly believe it.

He slept with us last night and we shared with him

about the day he was born.

His birthday will always remind us of what a joy and blessing he is. 

This year he was VERY aware that it was a special day just for him.

So we had a little dinner with my brother and his family

and those members of our family we live with.

It was simple and short and just right.

I think he got just about everything he wanted and then some.

We asked him what he wanted for his birthday.

He asked for two things.

A bike and for Mommy to stay home with him.

So we spent the whole day together preparing for his birthday dinner.

He sang Happy Birthday to himself everywhere we went.

It was fun to see him for the first time really enjoy his day!

Gift from Mommy and Daddy - Spiderman Bike and gear

The smile says it all. :)

A guitar from Uncle Maile, Aunty Kanga and Baybeem

And this toy which Baybeem was having a great time with!

A new blanket and clothes from Veangu, Lupe and Mele.

 

 

 

By the time he got to Filipe's gift, he was super excited...as you can see.

Baybeem, Aunty Kanga and the birthday boy!

 

Once he got the guitar on, there was no taking it off.

And then he gave us a rockstar concert...LOL!

 

 

He really loved his Birthday!

Thank you to everyone who shared birthday wishes with him.

He really felt special today.

Oh, you make me smile...

His first attempt at writing the letter A :)

Went  to the neighbors house behind him, found this toy and brought it over to model for me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He's constantly taking pictures of himself on my phone...this is one of them.

And here's another one.

One of my favorite songs is Smile, by Uncle Kracker.

I know it's talking about a significant other...

but some of the words still apply to how I feel about my son.

Love you son.

You make me smile like the sun

Dance like a fool...

Even when you're gone...

You steal away the rain and just like that...

You make me smile...

Don't know how I've lived without you,

Cause every time I get around you,

I see the best of me inside your eyes...

Oh, you make me smile.

Daily smile...

Any one who has ever met my son knows he is a ball of energy.

He is go, go, go all the time unless he's asleep.

He loves to go out.

If we tell him we're going to the store, he asks to go.

We're fortunate to have one of the ladies we live with watch him

for us while we're at work. 

Their normal routine is they stay home 

or go outside, weather permitting.

This weekend the Liahona Kolisitutuku is being hosted by the bay area people.

So she's busy prepping things but says she's okay to watch him.

Normally if I know they need to leave the house I'll leave his car seat at home.

Otherwise it stays in the backseat of my car.

Today they needed it and I forgot to take it out.

She explains to my son that he can't go anywhere because there's no car seat.

He tells her to call my phone he needs to talk to me.

This is the voice mail he leaves me;

"Mom, can you give me my car seat?"

"Love you, bye."

A short pause then...

"This is a message..."

Click.

Put a smile on my face and in my heart 

and made my day. :)

Thanks son.

(wish I could upload the actual message, his authorative tone is too funny)

Perspective...

I was reading the news and it's just depressing.

So now I'm blogging.

Today I'm going to blog about the good.

People and things that make me happy.

The silver lining on the occasional cloud in our days.

So today here are the good things that made the news in my world.

I woke up.

My husband woke up.

My son woke up.

We're still here, one more day together as a family.

All of us are healthy, I use that term loosely.

We're breathing, all fingers and toes intact.

No sickness or ailments.

Pretty darn blessed.

We have a roof over our head.

A car to drive to work in.

A job to provide us with our physical needs.

Love to get us through our emotionally trying times.

The gospel to nourish our ever dried out spirits.

God to give us an eternal perspective.

Family to help us always see the good.

and friends to keep us grateful for trials.

I know I'm biased, 

but that's about the best darn news I've heard all day.

Family times are the best times...

The summer feels like it's in full swing and we are loving the time spent with family.  Since May we've taken a few mini trips for family functions and they are always a blast!

Elijah and Famani si'i playing and Dad in the back.

Semisi Vuna and Famani

 We went to L.A. to see Mom and Dad before they returned to Tonga.

It's always fun seeing the Kisione and Nasi's kids in L.A.

We don't visit them as often as we should.

It was great to spend a day with them, hurrying back for work was a bummer.

We really wanted to spend Mother's Day, but the flights were not good to standby's.

After I "quit" work on May 27, Famani si'i and I flew out the next day to Salt Lake to see my side of the family and to spend Memorial Day with them.

Sia, Nina, Me, Tesi si'i and Akosita visitng Grandma Petesi

 Famani si'i and his BF Juju

Most of the grandkids jumping on the trampoline at Grandma and Grandpa's

 We had such a good time, we decided to stay for a whole other week and celebrate Juni's high school graduation.

I'm really glad we did, because that was a lot of fun.

Lopiseni Finau, Jr - Congratulations!

Famani si'i, Toa, and me at Juni's eating

 Famani came to visit us in Salt Lake because he was missing his son and we ended up staying another full week before he asked us to come home because he was ta'e lata.

When we got back home, my old job called and asked me to temp for them.

I knew they wouldn't have asked if they didn't really need the help, so I went back.

We then went back to Salt Lake this past weekend for Elsie's baptism.

I still can't wrap my head around the fact that she's eight.

I remember when she was born.

She was so beautiful and perfect.

She holds such a sweet and special place in all of her aunties and uncles hearts.

We all consider her our own daughter, even my parents do. 

We could not imagine our family without her funny personality.

We're so proud of her choice to be baptized.

There have been so many stepping stones of our nieces and nephews

that we've missed and I'm grateful we could be there for this one.

Elsie and her Mom Lata

L to R: Maile, Alai, Tesi si'i, Luke and Famani si'i

Dad, Miles, Grandpa Vailama and Elsie

We've been living away from family for over eight years.
Everyone says we appreciate them because distance makes the heart grow fonder.
That's true, but you also realize how valuable something is
when you don't have the luxury of having it around all the time.
That's the case with our families.
They are the most important people in our lives.
So what are we doing spending any more time away from them than we have to?
We're ready for the annoyances that will certainly come with
being around them almost 24/7, but we believe if your going to learn
how to love unconditionally;  what better place to learn than in your family?

Dilemma...

Yeah, just like the Nelly song.  

I have an acquaintance who is dating a man all ready in a relationship.  I blog about it not to put her business on blast(I promise, none of the 4 of you know her and/or ever will), but just to get my thoughts out there and maybe see her situation from a different perspective.  I'm trying my hardest not to be judgmental, but recently I've resorted to just flat out ignoring her, because I can't stand what I know she's doing.  It's like every other thing that comes out of her mouth is bull because she's a mistress and she doesn't mind being one and actually finds some sort of twisted joy in it.

So I asked myself these questions...basically same thing my husband asked me when I shared with him my dilemma.  

"Why do you care so much?"

Well, she's my friend.  I don't use that term loosely.  I truly, honestly love this woman.   I want her to be happy, but the right way.  The way where a few months down the line she won't be broken hearted because this guy will have gotten what he wanted and has moved on and in the way where she can look in the mirror and not feel like a total skank.  Sorry, I don't know how to sugarcoat that.  Because I don't care what anybody says.  When you are messing with other people's personal lives and you KNOW you're in the wrong...it gets to you.  You may feel numb about it for a while...but it creeps back in and gets you.

"Did I tell her how I feel?"

Yes, pretty much everything I've said on this blog, I've said to her and way, waaay more.  Not so blatantly, because I have tact and know I'm dealing with a "sensitive" issue.  No one realizes their being a dumb A in their dumb A moments.  They just kind of are one and in hindsight they realize their actions sucked.

Here's my take on anyone who's unfaithful.  It's selfish.  Plain and simple. I don't care if you're not getting validated by your damn significant other.  I don't care if you're married to the freakin' nightmare witch from Elm street with built in horns and a pitchfork.  Do it the right way.  Tell them how they make you feel.  Or, get out of the relationship, if it's so toxic.  Don't go screw around behind their back with some other person.  If you can't fix what you have at home, what makes you think that going outside the home and involving others is going to make things "less complicated."  Really?  Seriously.  Do people really think that makes sense in their head?

And here's another thing.  If you're going to be a mistress/skank/player...whatever you want to call it.  Be real about it. That's such a walking contradiction...but still...if you're gonna be a skank, be a skank, loud and proud and stamp it on your forehead so when us married folks see you coming we can "hide our husbands" like Antoine says.  LMBO.  Just sayin'.

I guess it frustrates me because she's a person that I've known for years...and this is not the person I know, the person I love.  And I guess I can't change that.  People change and I can't make her do something she clearly doesn't see as being wrong because she's finding some measure of happiness in it, even though there are kids and another woman involved.  It makes me sad more than anything.  I don't know how someone can intentionally hurt another woman and her kids because she wants to feel like a teenager again.  Even worse, I don't know how this guy is okay with hurting his own kids and "fiance" for a little "secret friendship" as he likes to refer to it.  Yeah, he's a douche.  Why does it feel like we live in a world where if you want it, take it.  Screw the people who are hurt in the process.  Really?  Is this what we've come to?  Every man for himself and too bad if you get the short end of the stick.  It just seems so "anga'i manu" as my Tongan folks would say.  Last I checked, we were still called the "human" race...too bad the animals act more human than we do sometimes.

I hope this friend knows that when all is said and done...I'm still here for her.  Right now though, I have to step aside as her friend...because I can't condone what she's doing, I can't turn a blind eye to it.  I can't look my husband and son in the face and say, I'm friends with a woman who is hurting another person's family.  Someone who feels just as passionately about her husband and kids as I do.

*(edited 6-29-2011)

Nothing to fear but fear itself...

Over three years ago I wrote a novel...it kind of just spilled out of me and I have to say that aside being absolutely terrified of putting myself out there, I am amazed that I was able to do it.  I never thought I could.  Certainly never intended to share it with anyone else but those closest to me.  Then I had to stop and ask, what am I afraid of?  That someone will hate it?  That has to be expected.  Nobody loves 100% of what you do 100% of the time.  So with that being said...here goes fear flying out the window for me.  Well, in this case anyway.  Everything else, I'm still pretty chicken about.  

So, if you're looking for something to pass the time, I'm sharing the chapters maybe a week at a time.  Don't forget to start with the oldest post first.  It has the intro, prologue, then the story begins...yeah, yeah...to much rambling...click here.

Happy reading.

Father's...

Yesterday was Father's Day...

We didn't do anything because my hubby worked a 14 hour shift at work,

but we celebrated on Friday with dinner and a movie.

My husband doesn't really make a big deal of this day...

and I'm sad to admit that I have fallen into the bad habit of not making 

it special for him because I know, he doesn't really care.

Truth is, he probably does care, but doesn't want to make it seem so.

I hope that my son and I do enough in our every day life to show him

how wonderful we think he is, as a husband and a father.

I believe the two go hand in hand.

It's hard to say you love your children but disrespect or dishonor their mother.

A lot of people may not agree with that...but it's how I feel, so there. :P

Anyways...above picture...a favorite.

The birth of our son changed my husband for the better.

Before we had kids...I all ready knew what kind of father he would be...

but the reality of it...is way better than the dream.

He's gentler, more kind, more forgiving, more patient,

more open, more playful, more childlike and so, so proud of his son.

I love the man that being a father has made him.

He was all ready an exceptionally kind hearted, genuine man...

but being a father has magnified it times a million.

He would lay down his life for his son. 

He would lay down his life for me.

I have no doubts about that.

I hope he knows, we would do likewise.

We are so blessed to have him.

Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful men in our lives.

See the blessings...

I just got back from dinner with one of my dearest friends Anna.  She and I are going through so many changes in our lives and I still can't believe that we are both planning on moving away from San Francisco at the same time.  It initially wasn't planned that way.  I was the only who was going to move and then changes started taking place at her work and now she is also relocating to Southern California.  I always love talks with Anna, she's a "glass half full" kind of person and I'm so grateful that she is the way she is.  


We talked about the changes going on in her life and mine.  She's one of the very few people who supported our decision for me to stay home from work.  Even though it really was no one else's decision to make, it really is funny how some people think they should have a say...and then they wait to see if you'll fall on your face for the choices that you've made.  I'm sure I've said it before, but I'll say it again.  Nothing is sadder than a human being who finds joy in another person's misery.


I'm happy to say that quitting my job has been the BEST decision we could have ever made as a family.  The rewards of being home with Famani si'i each day and seeing the things that he learns and understands and teaches me are phenomenal.  


Another blessing that has come from it that I wasn't expecting at all was how differently my husband and I take our roles as mother and father now.  Although he works both jobs nearly five days a week, he's been so much more attentive as a father and a husband.  He has so much more patience with our son than he did before and he appreciates the little time that they have together.  Famani si'i in return calls his Dad several times a day just to see how he is and tell him he misses and loves him.  He knows his Dad is physically away from home but his heart is with us even though he isn't there.  I didn't expect that.  I honestly thought he would just work and neglect all his other duties, but in fact they have improved.  He feels more responsible all around.  I am feeling the same with my role as a wife and mother.  I don't want to waste the time that I have being idle.  My mind isn't so cluttered and stressed with insignificant things.  My role is clear and defined, and I am so loving that.  I am so loving that I have a purpose.  Although I don't see the rewards daily, I know the things I do and teach my son today will affect him in the future.  Hopefully for the better.  There is no more important role in my life right now than to teach my child to be a good, decent, honest, loving and genuine human being.  I don't think that's a demotion by any means.  If anything, it's the most important job as a parent that I have.

The SAHM life...

No one has been more excited about me being a stay at home Mom than my son.

Every day he woke and I was still sleeping next to him, he'd ask,

"you stay home with me Mom? No work?"

When I'd tell him yes, he'd start to giggle.

That in itself has made the decision worth it.

The last three weeks have been busy, busy, busy.

We went to Utah to see my family right away because I was so homesick for them.

The time spent there only confirmed how much I want to live closer to my family.

My son had such a blast being with his cousins, but it's very obvious he's an only child.

I know he enjoyed having kids to play with daily.

My feelings about my parents getting old and needing as much help from

their children as possible was right on.

I was thankful to be there with them and see for myself what I

had suspected to be true.

My son has been out of diapers now for almost the entire 3 weeks.

We've had some mishaps, but mostly it's been going very well.

He's a very smart kid and I think once he understood that I wasn't 

going to put a diaper on him again, he knew his choices were limited.

He's gotten comfortable enough to tell others to take him to the

bathroom, if I'm not there.  

I know seeing all his cousins use the bathroom was a huge help too.

I'm so thankful he picked it up so fast.

Now that I can cross potty training off my list...

we'll move on to the many other things I've wanted to have accomplished for my family.

It's been wonderful so far and I'm enjoying every minute of it.

Change is a comin'...

I know change is inevitable.

You can't really LIVE life without changes taking place, 

if you did,it probably wouldn't be much of one.

I tell myself this everytime, because I hate change.

I just do.

With me; change = goodbyes

I suck at goodbyes...and when something changes,

it means something old is replaced to make room for something new.

Why change?

Especially when you THINK your life is in a good place all the way around.

 Why the sudden urgency to do something different?

But it never fails...I get this ants in my pants kinda feeling and I know...

Something needs to change.

And here we are...at it again.

Next week will be my last week of work.

The last time I didn't work, I was 14 and in middle school.

I don't know life without a 9 to 5 job.

But, I also didn't know how working after having my son would affect me.

Graciously, the Lord has blessed us in a way that I can stay home.

My husband is willing to work and do whatever it takes so that I can raise our children.

We hope to have more.

I hope this gives me more time to FOCUS on taking care of my health.

Spending time together as a family.

Home is where my heart is always, 

no matter where I'm at in my day.

Because my greatest treasures await there.

For me to make time, real quality time...

to love, teach, learn, vacuum, potty train, sew buttons, 

and kiss boo boo's, and facilitate time outs, appreciate, 

cook, pray, read, share meals, love some more and...

Just BE home.

So change and I have a truce, and understanding, if you will.

It's gonna be a part of my life.

Whether I like it or not.

And more often than not, the change is needed.

"Because she is a Mother" by Jeffrey R. Holland

This is one of my favorite talks of all time.  

I loved it when I first heard it at 18 years old,

 single,

no prospect of marriage,

 and no children,

yet knowing in my heart that the most important work 

I'll ever do in my life will be as a mother. 

I dedicate it to ALL who are Mother's in their hearts. 

To the mother's who have loved me so unconditionally 

throughout my life...

Grandma Petesi, Sesikuana Tafuna, all my aunties that raised me...

Thank you is not sufficient.

To know that you CHOSE to love and have me as part of your family 

is a miracle I realize every time I am with you and I can feel in my soul 

that THIS family is where I belong.

To my sisters, Olotomu, Penina, Lisia, Lata and Kanga,

you're ability to love and teach your children astounds me.

Thank you for being such amazing examples...

To the sweetest mother in law on the planet...

Elisa Fai'ana Faeamani

Malo ho si'i 'ofa 'ia au mo 'eku ki'i famili...

To every wonderful women in my life near and far...

I have learned motherhood from you.

Whether you have a child of your own or not.

You are simply the best.

Happy Mother's Day!