It's seriously about dang time...

Now I have gone and done it.

"It" has finally happened…

There is no longer a separation between my chin and neck.

They have become one entity.

(this isn't my chineck (chin&neck)...it's far better than mine)   

How the heck did I get here?

I was literally shaking as I got on the scale…

WHAT THE…?!?!

That…Cannot. Be. Right.

But it is…and I’m a little bit angry,

Entirely at myself, because really…no one did this but me.

Mostly though I’m just sad...
Sad, sad, sad.

I never thought I’d get here,

Never ever never.

But I guess you should never say never…

Unless you’re actively doing something to prevent the “never” from happening.

12 years ago, my scale read 100 lbs less,

I was a size 12 comfortably and could squeeze into 10 if required.

Was always a “big” girl.

Big bones, big hair, and a big ole’ booty.

Have never dressed my size.

Shirts were always too many sizes too big…

(case and point, I can fit a shirt I bought 11 yrs ago snuggly…like a second skin snuggly today)

And pants…well…pants were a challenge.

 My hips were wide, my thighs were those of a rugby player…

And my waste belonged on a size 8 frame.

Of course today all those numbers have doubled and in some cases tripled.

I told you…

SAD, SAD, SAD.

So in staying true to the old New Year’s resolution cliché…

I’ve resolved to lose weight…

Yeah…Right.

How many times have I made this commitment before?

The only difference this time is…

I’m blogging about it.

Not just saying it to myself in my head but making it public.

Holding myself accountable to people who probably could care less,

But nevertheless…

ACCOUNTABLE.

Because my son should have a mother who can run with him at the park,

Without almost going into cardiac arrest.

I want to feel like a teenager again when I put on a pair of jeans...

Love, like a smile should come from the inside out…

My hubby deserves the hot kumala (sweet potato) he married 11 years ago…

Where is that girl?

She’s in here somewhere underneath these layers of…

Ahem…muscle…

cottage cheese bags...

er…winter padding...

Fine…

FAT. 

Call it what it is.

Send me good vibes…

Cheer me on quietly…

Wish me luck…

Pray for me.

HERE GOES NOTHIN’!

Judge not, lest thou be judged...

I had the most vivid dream of my sister Tomu.  We were lying in bed and she was maybe 9 or 10 years old.  (If your my friend on facebook, there is a picture of my sisters and I when we were younger and Tomu was that age in my dream.)  Anyhow...I was my age now of 21 + years and she asked me this question; "How do you know when people are judging you and when they're not?"  I thought about it for a moment and replied, "Well when someone makes a comment or has an opinion about the way you live your life, in a way they are judging.  You have to look more at the person than what's being said.  If it's someone being judgmental, even if what they say is not true, they'll wait, and wait and wait until something bad happens and say, Ha!  I told you so."  If it's someone that loves you, when something bad occurs, they say, "I'm sorry this happened, what can I do to help?"  And then I woke up.  

Such a strange dream...and it got me to thinkin'...who likes to be judged?  I certainly don't.  

Even when we KNOW we've done something wrong and we give ourselves worse punishment than anyone else could possibly ever inflict, it still stings when someone says it out loud.  I am absolutely guilty of judging others without merit.  

So where do we draw the line?  In some sense when any of us first meet someone, we have to make a quick judge of character before we know if we want to continue a conversation with a complete stranger or begin dating someone or create a friendship.  Unless it's our family or friends, we don't know who we're letting into our lives.  And I don't know about anyone else but for me, having a child just makes me that much more cautious.  I don't think it's a bad thing to be cautious, but I do think there's a certain point where being selective and being judgmental tread a very thin blurry line.  

As I'm typing this a very wise question comes to mind..."what would Jesus do?"  I can just hear my Primary kids saying that to me.  LOL.  And I can give you the answer without blinking..."love the sinner not the sin."  

But am I living this way..........yeah......don't really have a response on that one yet ...(crickets chirping)...

The most true to myself answer is, sometimes...sure with the people I love, family and friends, it's absolutely possible to do this...love them despite whatever mistakes they make...why?  Because they do the same for me and because I know them in a different way...beyond their actions....their heart.  

Can I apply this to a stranger?  I hope so.  But the truth is...I just don't know.

This post is so random, but oh well at least it's got the wheels in my head a churnin'...always grateful for any kind of activity in the old noggin'.

Christmas in June...

I'm grateful that having a simple conversation with someone can give me clarity on something that I've shoved into the back of my mind, because I don't want to confront it.  My hubby asked me this past week where I would want to be buried if I died.  I told him, in Salt Lake City at the same cemetary my Grandma's buried at.  So then he said to me, "why are we wasting our time trying to make a life in a place you don't even want to be buried in when you're dead?"  (light bulb goes off and smack myself on the forehead moment)...I've always known my husband was smarter than he let's on...and he posed an excellent question.  

Soooo...we're Salt Lake City bound in 2011!!  That is our plan, by summer we hope to be there permanently.  We know we'll have to start again and hubby will have to look for work, but we feel like it's the right place for us and where we NEED to be.  I won't lie, it's a little scary,  we're doing pretty well here job wise and in this economy, it's not exactly pick and choose, you kind of have to go where the work is...but we have faith that the Lord will take care of us as we do what's best for our family eternally and not just financially.  We are certainly not alone, we have our families to help us out as we get situated which I am so grateful for and the rest will take care of itself.    WE ARE SO EXCITED!  I feel like I'm going to burst out of my skin.  It's going to be great to be near loved ones again.  I can't wait to for my son to grow up with his cousins and be able to have dinner with my sisters and their families and be near my parents and learn from them while they are still here and giggle with my nieces and nephews and hang out with our dear friends as a couple again and spend time with my Grandpa.  I am counting down the days for sure....it'll be Christmas in June. 

The Christmas season...

I love Christmas, to me it is truly "the most wonderful time of the year."  Personally, I become more forgiving, more tolerant, my family becomes the focal point of my life and I remember that a Savior came into this world the same way we all did and dedicated his life to doing the will of his Father in Heaven.  Because he was successful in this we celebrate his birth every year and we try to emulate his life during this season.  We remember others more than we remember ourselves.  We offer gifts and goodwill and in a lot of cases what little we have so that others might have joy.  Each year around this time, it's like magic.  You see hearts changing, people pondering on the true meaning of life, love permeates and once again the miracle of the birth of a child known to the world as Jesus Christ is realized, regardless of our personal beliefs.  It amazes me still.  


I hope that every person enjoys the spirit of the Christmas season.  Merry Christmas!

To work or not to work, that is the question...

I've been mulling this over in my head for the last 4 years.  Since before I was even married, I always knew that I would NOT be a working mother.  I always said I would stay home and raise my children so that someone else would not have to raise them for me.  Well my son is almost 3 and a half years old and before I know it he'll be in kindergarten and I won't be able to spend this kind of time with him again until he's graduated from high school.  And by then he'll be too cool for his old nagging Mom.  He won't want to be around me constantly like he does now.  I'll never get this time back...and if I was doing something I absolutely loved, then I'd work it into my life, but I don't love what I do, I like it, it pays the bills...but it's becoming quite evident that it's not worth the time I spend away from my son.  So I am hoping within the next three to six months, I've prepared our family enough to move from two incomes to one.  I know some people will think I'm crazy, especially during a time when employment is so difficult to come by...but my son means more to me than money, and every day I've walked out the door to go work I've been saying the exact opposite.  I wish that I could have it all, some women are cut out for it and to each his own, but me...I'm a mother...it's all I've ever wanted to be.  I know one day I'm going to blog about the stresses of being a stay at home Mom, but I'm going to love and enjoy every second of it.  When your doing something you love, it isn't work...I can't wait!

Last day of Thanksgiving...

I never thought I'd actually see the finish line when I started 30 days of Thanksgiving thirty days ago.  It's a tiny accomplishment, but I have to  say I'm pretty proud of myself.  I wish I could apply my perseverance with writing to losing weight, but that will probably never be the case.  However, I'm grateful to have finished something that I've made a goal to complete and I'm thankful to have a record of some of the things I was grateful for this year.  Of course eternity wouldn't be long enough to list all the blessings I have in my life and all of the things and people I am grateful for, but I'm thankful for the opportunity to  remember to have an attitude of gratitude, especially during the Holiday season.  Hope everyone is enjoying the most wonderful time of the year!

Good movies...

• Day 29 of Thanksgiving and I'm thankful for good family movies.  It's one of my favorite things to do with my family.  I especially love it when I can watch one with my son and not have to worry about the language or an inappropriate scene.  We watched Tangled over the weekend, it's a pretty awesome movie.  I loved it and I especially loved watching with a theater full of kids, laughing out loud and just being kids.  I'm grateful that they are still making good wholesome movies that the whole family can enjoy together.  Nothing like a good movie!

Mom and Dad...

It's after midnight in Cali on Day 28 of Thanksgiving and I'm grateful for my parents.  I don't know if I'm the only person who feels this way as I get older but having my own family makes me wish my parents could live forever.  I always thought that when I got married and had kids that just the opposite would happen...that I'd be too busy with my "own" family, being a wife and mother that being a daughter would become insignificant.  How thankful I am to be wrong and to still have an opportunity to let my parents know just how wonderful I think they are and how grateful I am for them.  My parents compliment and balance each other quite well.  Mom has taught me strength, independence and how to be self sufficient.  I've always felt like women were invincible, I get a lot of that from my Mom.  Dad's the gentler one.  I think having so many girls had a lot to do with it.  He found it very difficult to say no to us and would usually refer us back to Mom when we asked him for something and he couldn't deny us.  I've learned the value of hard work from my Dad.  He's always provided for us and we've never gone hungry or without a roof over our heads.  I cannot put into words how this amazes me even today. I know if I lost everything right now, I'd have a place to stay.  That is a comfort as someone's child that even when they become adults, never goes away.  I appreciate them so much more as an adult than I did when I lived under their roof.  When I can throw down a mean meal in the kitchen and still impress my husband after 11 years, I'm grateful my Mom taught all of us girls to cook.  When my son frowns because he's mad at me and I tell him "mali mali" (smile) like my Dad used to with us, and it makes him laugh, I'm grateful my Dad always made us feel loved after we were disciplined.  I look at my life now and I wonder, why was I so in a hurry to grow up?  Why didn't I appreciate the time I had to live with my parents and learn from them?  I am grateful they are still here for me to right some wrongs and re learn lessons they've probably all ready taught me a hundred times.  There are times that I finally "get it"...what they've tried to teach me and what they continue to teach me through their examples and unfailing love and I'm grateful to know I'll always need my parents.     

Maile...

Day 27th of Thanksgiving and I'm grateful for my brother Maile.  I couldn't talk about things I'm thankful for in life and not mention him.  He's truly one of a kind.  I think any guy who can handle seven sisters should receive some sort of medal.  It wasn't easy being our little brother, and I always feel like I need to apologize to him for being born into a family with seven girls...not just any seven but our seven...probably not a lucky number for him, but he's never complained...at least not to me anyway...lol.  Pull back all layers and I can say without a doubt that he is a good person, it means a lot for any sister to know that her brother is a good man.  I'm grateful that he's always respected me.  I  am thankful that he loves our family.  I know that is something that is so important to him.  I'm grateful for his little family, for his wife and his son baby Le'o.  He's growing up and it's so weird, but I learn a lot from him and I know one day he'll be the one giving me words of wisdom.  I'm grateful he'll always be my one and only little "big" brother.   

Sisters...

Day 26 of Thanksgiving and I'm thankful for my sisters.  We really need an updated picture, but this one I will always treasure.  I have six of them and I'd love to break them down one by one but it ain't gon' happen.  I am so grateful for my sisters, I'll be honest, I didn't always feel that way.  There are still days here and there that I say to myself, "why 6 of them?"  but there are no words to describe what they mean to me.  They have been my best friends since I was a kid and it will always be that way with them.  They are definitely unique, not a single one is like the other...and as one might imagine it keeps our family life...amusing at the very least.  In school the teachers who had all of us were always wondering when the Tafuna's were going to run out of sisters.  I remember when I would meet a teacher who had my older sister's Tomu and Nina and then they'd get me and ask what our relationship was and I'd say "we're sisters"...then it was "well, how many are there of you?"  I wish I could capture the looks on their faces when I told them there were 2 more after me in the very same school.  But I loved it.  My sisters always gave me a sense of belonging.  They were the ones who knew all my secrets, things people would probably find out about me and be too embarrassed to still call me a friend, my sisters saw first hand and just accepted.  We argued a lot because we're all very opinionated.  I think if a fly on the wall of our home could talk, it would say simply that we're exhausting.  Now that we're adults and we almost all have our own little families we still express ourselves, but it's different.  For me when I remember the rough times, I can laugh about it,  not because in the moment they were funny, but because we made it through them.  Looking back now, I couldn't have survived a fraction of my childhood without my sisters.  I could face anything as long as they were with me...and I still feel that way.  I learn so much from each of them.  Survival, true beauty, motherhood, responsibility, being a wife, balancing a family with work, true friendship, acceptance, unconditional love, forgiveness, hope and the list is endless.  There isn't anything this world can throw my way that I couldn't take head on because I know my sister's would be right behind me.  Despite our disagreements, or differences of opinions, they will always be the only people that I can say have shared my past, remain in my present and will continue to be with me in my future life.  How do you thank someone for being that person?  How do you thank a Heavenly Father for giving you six of them?  I don't think I can ever do enough, but I know I'll always try to be the very best sister and friend to them that they have always been to me.      

Thanksgiving Day...

On Thanksgiving Day I'm grateful for this holiday.  A day dedicated to remembering the people and the things that we're thankful for.  For the past few years we've spent this day away from the people who mean most to us.  It's always bitter sweet when the holidays roll around and you can't actually be with the people you love and cherish most.  But I'm grateful always that my hubby and I are together and for the past 3 years we've been able to share this day with Famani si'i.  He definitely gives Thanksgiving a whole new meaning for us.  I'm grateful for all the wonderful food that is prepared and shared this day amongst our family and friends.  I received a text from a friend this year that read "A grateful attitude equals gratitude."  I hope to always feel this way about the blessings in my life.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Catch up on Days of Thanksgiving!

I've fallen behind on my days of Thanksgiving, so while I'm up early waiting for the turkey to bake, I'm grateful to have a little time to play catch up...

Day 21 of Thanksgiving, I'm grateful for my heritage. Visiting Tonga for the first time this year with my little family since I left at age 5 was an eye opener.  I loved being there and feeling a sense of home, belonging.  I guess it had a lot to do with being Tongan and being in Tonga.  I'm grateful for all the responsibility and blessings that come from a culture where love of God and family and heritage is first and foremost. 

On Day 22, I'm thankful for temples.  I'm grateful for the covenants and blessings that take place there.  The priceless opportunity to be with my family forever.  Words cannot express what this means to me.  I am so so thankful. 

23rd day and I'm thankful for work.  I know I complain profusely about it  sometimes, but it really is a blessing in my life.  I've been at the same place for going on 7 years.  Since my family and I moved to California from Utah, it was the first job I got and I'm loyal to a fault when people hire me and trust in me to do good work.  It's a small company, owned by a family and despite the little annoyances, caused more by people than the job itself, I really enjoy it, I enjoy what I do.  And it brings home some bacon for my family, so that in itself is something to be grateful for. 


On the 24th Day of Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for vacation days.  I love them especially when I can take them before the Holidays and turn a 3 day weekend into a 5 day weekend.  It's one of the perks also of being at a job so long.  Paid vacation days just keep adding up and I love it.  Too bad I'm saving most of them for 2012 when we plan to go back to Tonga, nothing like being in paradise and getting paid for it!  Love vacation days! 


Now I'm all caught up...grateful for the time to do it!

Everyday blessings...

Day 20 of Thanksgiving and I'm grateful for the little things.  I'm thankful for a roof over my head.  I'm thankful for a vehicle to get my family and I to where we need to go.  I'm grateful for the people I live with and the examples they set.  I'm grateful for their generosity and for giving our little family people we can trust and rely on.  I'm thankful for food on the table and clothes on our back.  I'm thankful for a good movie to watch, and a song that lifts my mood.  Thankful to be breathing and sharing my life with people that I love.

Anna...

On Day 19 I'm thankful for my wonderful friend Anna.  

She and I have only known each other for 5 years but 

she's become a lifetime friend for me.  

She was with me through my pregnancy with Famani si'i.  

Apart from my hubby, I think I spent more time 

with Anna than with anyone else.  

My son has a lot of her traits, which I love and find hilarious.  

Anna is a gomedian (comedian)!  

If I need to laugh and just be silly, she's the friend I would call.  

She is soooo outgoing and will make a complete 

stranger feel like they're old friends.  

I've never met anyone who tries to be there for everyone 

all the time at the same time...I've had moments where I've had to pretty much slap her back to reality and remind her that it's impossible.  

I'm grateful that she doesn't judge me EVER 

and we can talk for days about life and dreams and goals.  

She's my number one supporter when it comes to my dream 

of being an author.  With her encouragement I was actually 

able to finish a novel and have the guts to try to get it proofed to submit.  Even if it goes nowhere, she will always be the friend who gave me enough courage to do what I love.  

I am so thankful for her sweet spirit.  

I have served with her in Church and know what a blessing 

her testimony is to me and so many others that know her.

Heavenly Father has been so gracious in allowing me to have these wonderful women, whom I am honored to call friends, in my life.   

T...

On day 18 of Thanksgiving I'm grateful for my friend T.  She's known to others as Tiare, but I call her T.  She is my soulcyster (soul sister).  We have known each other now for going on 11 years about and she's been an absolute blessing to my life.  Besides the fact that she's obviously beautiful, T is just really amazing.  She has gift in making people feel welcome always.  It's never awkward with T.  Months can go by and we haven't talked and we'll pick up the phone and it's as if we've talked every single day.  I love that about our friendship.  I'm grateful for the wonderful people she has brought into my life.  All of her and Veni's family and parents. I haven't a single person she's introduced me to that I don't love.  I love her energy, I love that she knows who she is and she doesn't change it to conform to a what a typical poly is supposed to be.  She's her own person, she has a sense of knowing who she is and I admire that.  She is crazy talented!  And don't even get me started on crafts and her mean sense of creativity.  Watch out Martha Stewart!  When I own my home, she'll be my interior decorator, I say this to her jokingly, but she doesn't know I'm serious. Our lives have had some parallels and differences, but I've always been able to trust and count on her.  I could really go on for pages and pages of why I'm  thankful Heavenly Father allowed our paths to cross.  I know she will be a friend forever.  No matter which roads our lives take, she and her little family, that I just adore, will always be a part of our family.   

Chickee...

 Day 17 of Thanksgiving and I'm thankful for my closest friends...

This is my dear friend Kathryn, known to some as Red, 

I call her Chickee thanks to my son.  

I love her to pieces.  

She's fiesty, and blunt and what you see is what you get.  

She gives me the "ugly" reality check, that everyone's 

either too afraid to say or too kindhearted to lay on me.  

Not Chickee, she will tell it like it is and cry with 

me even if she's the one who made me cry.  LOL!   

I love her honesty.  If I need a real opinion, she'll give it to me. 

She also has a wicked sense of humor. 

You know when you think something in your head, 

but you don't say it out loud? 

Chickee says it out loud.  

I love that about her and wouldn't change her for a second.  

She's gives the most amazing hugs! 

If you ever thought that it was impossible to convey the feelings 

of love and appreciation and joy through a hug, 

then you have not received one from Chickee.  

Her hugs are amazing.  

My favorite thing about Chickee 

that no one would really know unless they gave the friendship time, 

is she is the most thoughtful person.  

She remembers her friends and family throughout her day.  

If she comes across something that reminds her of you, 

she'll get it or she'll call or text and say, thinking of you.  

I love her so much.  

She may be a tough cookie, 

but she reminds me that we all have bad days, 

but she loves me when I have mine 

and I love her when she has hers...however frequent those may be.  :)  

I love you Chickee! 

Thank you for being a genuine friend and a wonderful Aunty to Famani si'i.  We are so blessed to have you as a part of our family.

Common sense...

Day 16 of Thanksgiving and I'm grateful for a little thing called common sense.  My favorite thing about common sense is this, you don't need a degree to get it, you can't purchase it from a store, it isn't selective.  We are all born with it.  Not all of us use it, but it is an innate part of being human.  Some call it the golden rule, "Do unto to others as you would have them do unto you." 

Free to fly...

Day 15 of Thanksgiving and I'm thankful for flight benefits.  Living away from both of our families and some of our closest friends, I'm grateful that at the drop of a hat...if the flights are open of course... we can catch a plane and attend a birthday party, or a funeral, or just see the faces of the people we miss and love.  We've been able to make some wonderful memories with these flight benefits and see Siona's parents and siblings a lot more than we would otherwise.  I think of the three of us, Famani si'i is the one who uses the flight benefits the  most.  I don't even wanna know what his frequent flier miles would be.  He's been to Australia twice, to Tonga twice.  He flies to Salt Lake, Reno, Seattle, LA at least a half a dozen times a year, if not more and I love that it keeps him close to his aunties and uncles and cousins and his grandparents.  I'm so thankful to my hubby for working two jobs because he knows how important these benefits are to keeping our loved ones close and connected. 

The Gospel...

Day 14 and I am thakful for the Gospel.  I had a wonderful Sabbath day yesterday and I was reminded of the reasons I love the Gospel so much.  It is so beautiful in it's simplicity.  I was reminded that even though the people are not perfect, myself included, the Gospel is.  The foundation of my testimony is in Jesus Christ, not in my parents or my husband, or best friend, but in the Savior.  Having that knowledge gives me such a sense of peace.  I'm thankful that the Church is NOT for perfect people, it's a Gospel of learning and teaching and consistently trying to be better today than I was yesterday.  It's a Gospel of love and of hope of enduring and understanding.  It's compassion and  charity and forgiveness and all the things that are so needed in the world we live in today.  I love that it's a Gospel of free agency but also accountability.  I have been reminded and will continue to be reminded that because it is anchored in Jesus Christ, it is true.  I'm grateful that I've received a conversion of that knowledge for myself.  What a magnificent blessing our Father in Heaven has made available to all of His children!

Less is more...

These three little words, you may as well be speaking in tongues when it comes to some of my people.  Don't get me wrong, I love being Tongan...but really we gots to learn how to downsize.  We are in a recession...and we need to stop living like we got acres of money trees in our backyards.  I highly doubt that our ancestors broke their backs working to get us here to the promised land to see us in a worse off state than they were.  I attended a palangi ward activity tonight, the theme was bring your favorite dish and a scripture to share.  I can't remember the last time I felt so spiritually uplifted while having some brownie bites and all within an hours time.  There was food, good company, testimonies being shared, I gained some new favorite scriptures, and I still got out in enough time to make some dinner, clean my room, and prepare clothes for the Sabbath.  I am thankful the Gospel is so simple.  It doesn't need all the hoopla and distractions that I have grown accustomed to not just in our wards but in everything we do.   Let the Spirit do the teaching.  Do more doesn't necessarily mean, do it like there ain't no bills to pay tomorrow.  I know some people will probably think, who the heck does she think she is?  It's my opinion and it's my blog so I'll write what I wanna write...LOL...but fo reo tho...back to the basics people...keep it simple.          

Girl talk...

 

Day 12 of Thanksgiving I'm grateful for girl talk.  There is something so comforting about talking with other women, especially when they are awesome and trusted friends.  It doesn't matter what stage we're at in our lives, I always come away from good girl talk feeling invincible, ready to attack any battles that may come my way.  We share our struggles and our triumphs but mostly we laugh about our families and little oddities of our hubby's or children.  We smile about the unexpected stages our lives are in but are always grateful that we have an opportunity to learn from it and improve our circumstances.  We remind one another just how amazing we are and other times we offer the much needed "real talk" wake up call.  Sometimes we cry and vent but when all is said and done it becomes a lot less about talking and a lot more about listening.

 

Get it off your chest...

Day 11 and I'm grateful for blogging, it gives me an outlet to get things off my chest (see post below)...LOL...and a way to record my family's history.  I still do this when I journal, but blogging makes it 10 times easier.  I'm thankful for an outlet and I'm thankful for the comments. 

Venting...

 There is something that has been irritating me lately and I think I just need to get it off my chest so that I can move on.  I would normally just talk to my hubby about it and he'd tell me to get over it and stop taking things so personally, but I can't help it when it concerns my son.  And I also know that if my hubby knew half of these things and the way people have been to our son, he'd actually be sitting in a jail cell right now.  I have noticed pretty much since the second that Famani si'i was born that I take everything quite literally and personally when it comes to him.  When people stare at him when he's having a tantrum, I glare them down and make smart comments like "would you like me to put a muzzle on him."  Then I get the looks like, what the hell is her problem.  I don't mind advice on ways to raise my son and I also know he's not perfect and I have much to teach him, but I can't stand ignorance...especially towards little kids.  I loathe judgement from people who don't know anything about my son, or what kind of personality he has, that he's just naturally active and hyper and curious and annoying and he's only three years old.  For heavens sake he isn't an adult.  The only way he knows how to express frustration is by crying...would they rather he punch them in the face?  I mean is it me or has the whole world become oblivious to the fact that children will not and should not behave as adults.  They are CHILDREN.  I can't stand when I hear about how ADULTS tease him with certain things...it's okay if it's kids his own age teasing him, they don't know better, but ADULTS?  What could you possibly gain from teasing a child to the point where he cries.  Especially when children are so innocent minded?  They don't know that when an adult is teasing them, it's actually being cruel and that it's the adult that looks like an idiot not them.  Don't get me wrong, my son has a great sense of humor...but if he comes and asks for a piece of candy, don't give him an empty wrapper and eat the candy in his face.  Tell him you don't have candy!  I know on most of the instances I am overreacting and I can't shelter him from the cruelty and small mindedness of other people, and eventually he'll grow up and form opinions for himself of the way other's should behave...but while he's a child...he's my responsibility.  If he comes running to me because an adult threw a tennis ball at his head on purpose and laughs about it with their buddies, my first reaction is to grab a bat and beat someone senseless.  But then what am I teaching him?  So I suck it up with tears of anger burning the back of my eyes and I calm down and I comfort my son...but I won't let him around that person anymore...because if a person can hit ANY child...not just my child...and laugh about it...then I feel sorry for them.  

Temper, temper, tsk, tsk...

Today I am grateful for my temper.  Yeah, it probably sounds bad...but I'm sooo out of the "being a doormat" phase.  I am a mother now.  I used to just let things roll off my back, no big deal, get over it...and most of time, I am still like this.  But when it comes to my family...especially my child, DO NOT mess with me.  I will take you down and any flippin' posse you bring with you.  My son is a child, he is 3 years old, he is annoying to me, so I can only imagine how he may be at times to other people.  But do not mock my child, do not tease him like he's an adult, he is 3.  Do not be cruel to him and do not ever, never, never, never put your hands on him.  You hit me and I will turn the other cheek, I see you hit my son and I will break your hand!  That's all...thank you!

Hot chocolate...

On day 9 of Thanksgiving, I was thankful for hot chocolate.  I drank me some because it was so cold outside and took a nap that lasted too long...oh well...thank you cocoa for being so delicious!

Silence...

Day 8 and I'm thankful for silence.  Sometimes the best thing to do is say nothing at all. 

Church callings...

Day 7 of Thanksgiving and I am thankful for any opportunity to serve.  It doesn't really matter what the calling is...as long as I am able to serve in Lord's church, He can use me where ever He sees fit.  I always feel insignificant, or that someone else could do a much better job, then I remember the words of our Prophet today President Monson, "Whom the Lord calls, the Lord qualifies."  So who am I to doubt the Lord?  He knows me better than I know myself, and every time that I've accepted a calling, I've been reminded that this is true.  I'm thankful for the lessons these callings teach me.  Each one has at times left me exhausted, frustrated, or running around like a chicken with my head chopped off.  But also they have left me feeling edified, appreciative, renewed in my faith.  I am grateful to have a tiny hand in building up the Lord's kingdom.  I am thankful for all those I have learned from.  It is truly a Gospel of service.    

Primary songs...

On the sixth day of Thanksgiving I'm grateful for Primary songs.  One of my favorite things in this world to do is listen to children sing Primary songs.  Not only do they have wonderful melodies, but if you listen to the words, each song teaches a principle of the Gospel in it's most basic form.  Easy to teach, easy to learn, easy to love...add in the voices of the purest little spirits and for the length of a beautiful Primary song, you have Heaven on earth.  This is only one of the great blessings I receive serving in the Primary in the Lord's church.  That and watching the sweet testimonies of Heavenly Father's children being planted.

I am so thankful that my son loves the primary songs.  Since he was born we've been singing them to him.  Sometimes wondering if it'll make a difference or if we're just causing a lot of unnecessary noise.  A couple of weeks ago he asked if he could sing them on his own.  His favorite one by far is, "I love to see the temple."  I love what the words teach him, without his even knowing it, he fills my heart with joy and as a mother my wish is that the words of this song will take root in his heart and one day he'll actually see the inside of the temple and the wonderful blessings the covenants there will offer him and his loved ones.

Enjoy the video...I posted the actual words of the song below...

 

I love to see the temple,

I'm going there someday.

To feel the Holy Spirit,

to listen and to pray.

For the temple is a house of God.

A place of love and beauty.

I'll prepare myself, while I am young.

This is my sacred duty.

A laptop with keys...

On the fifth day of Thanksgiving I'm grateful for my hubby's friend Leni for offering to give me a laptop that has all the keys on the keyboard.  It was practically new and I am loving that I can blog from home and it doesn't take me hours to write one post.  It may seem small and insignificant, but it's a huge blessing for me and I am so thankful.  I see Heavenly Father's hand in all aspects of my life, even the little things.  Thank you again Leni!

Zzzzzz....

On fourth day of Thanksgiving...I was too exhausted to write anything...so I'm thankful I got to rest.  :)

FOB innocence...

Day 3 of Thanksgiving and I'm grateful that my hubby is a FOB.  There are so many things he does that reminds me just how beautiful simplicity of mind is.  

One of the stories I have to share took place a few years ago.  I was in the shower and received a text message from my friend Kathryn.  

My hubby grabs my phone and comes into the bathroom to let me know I got a text.  I asked him to read it to me, but instead he read it to himself and then asked me.."who is SPIN-ACK" (this is the way he pronounced it)?  

I had no idea what in the world he was talking about so I ask him, "Who?"  Hubby answers, "Red, (that's what we call Kathryn cause of her red hair) says don't forget to pick up SPIN-ACK...who is that?"  

I'm getting frustrated because I have no idea who he's talking about so I ask him to spell the persons name.  

He spells out S-P-I-N-A-C-H.  
Red says don't forget to pick up spinach...as in for our salads...for lunch...

he will never live that one down...I will tell my children and my children's children and force them to tell their children because it is a family classic...

This past weekend we were in Salt Lake and Siona needed to buy some thermals.  He went to Walmart on his own and with the help of a "kid" that worked there picked up his thermals and brought them back to our friends house to change into.  

My friend T and I were in the living room and out comes my hubby complaining about the thermals.  He said the extra large sizes in Salt Lake were weird and too small.  T and I laughed and I didn't think anything of it.  I told him to check the sizes more carefully before he purchases the other ones.  

When he left that night I thought he was going back to Walmart to return them and get the correct size.  The next morning as I was packing up our dirty clothes I found the thermal shirt and pants he was talking about.  They looked like they had been worn so I asked my hubby what happened.  

He said he was cold, so he wore them anyway.  I guess what kills me is the visual of my hubby wearing a thermal shirt that ends at the midriff and pants that come up to the top of his thighs...I looked at the tag...14/16 Boys...

 he's pretty...so I can't complain...thanks for the gut busting laughs babe...keep 'em comin'.  

Patience...

On the second day of Thanksgiving, I'm grateful for patience....

 

Because Heaven knows there are days (like today) when I just wanna wail on someone like they ain't got no mama.  

 

I'm grateful for certain people where I'm employed that irritate me daily and allow me to exercise my patience.  

 

I'm thankful for my son who tests my last ounce of patience and forces me to realize I need to get over it, because it isn't about me, it's about him.  

 

I'm especially grateful that patience is a never ending lesson that I will constantly need to learn and will most likely never master. 

 

I guess I'll just have to be patient and see... 

30 Days of Thanksgiving...

On the first day of Thanksgiving, I'm grateful for time.
 

Time I still have with my little family.  

Time I have to see my son grow and learn new things.  

Time to still get butterflies when I see my hubby's face.  

Time to serve the Lord in His church.  

Time to love my family and make up for lost moments.  

Time to make mistakes and learn from them.  

Time to cherish friendships and create new ones.  

Time to accomplish goals I've been putting off.  

Time to laugh and giggle with my son.  

Time to let my anger get the best of me and tap into the ghetto Tela I've put away in a box.  

Time to be forgiven for my stupidity.  

Time to discover a new favorite author.  

Time to relish the music that takes me back to the good ole' days.  

Time to create memories.  

Time to still make time for the ones that matter most.  

"Time is too slow for those who wait,
too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve,
too short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love, time is eternity." 

Life changes, love grows...

It seems like yesterday we were just bringing Famani si'i home.  We will never forget the day we found out we were having him, the first day we heard his heartbeat, or the day I first felt him kick in my stomach.  The day my belly popped out and being pregnant was finally "real"  because we could see it.  I loved every moment of being pregnant.  We were so happy all the time, you couldn't wipe the smile off our faces.  

 These days we find ourselves not only smiling, but busting out laughing at things Famani si'i says and does.  

He has so much energy.  It's go, go, go and then it's nap time, as soon as he jumps up, it's go, go, go and then it's bed time.  The way he wakes up from his sleep is hilarious to me.  It's like "BOO! I'M AWAKE!"  No one should have that much energy EVER, but we love it because he's ours.  

He's learning his ABC's and recognizing letters when he sees them.  When we pass by the Sears at Tanforan mall, he says "Look, R for rainbow, S for sun.  And our hearts smile.  

Famani si'i insists that we let him say prayer by himself.  When hubby or I try to assist him, he says "ssshhhh" and continues blessing the light and the door and the world.  

He watches way more TV then we ever intended to let him watch.  He loves Dora and Diego, Wonder Pets, and Yo Gabba Gabba.  Every movie is his favorite movie.  He's memorized some of the lines and it still cracks me up to hear him laugh out loud when he gets the jokes on his cartoons. 

He's so animated and quite a funny little character.  He all ready has a sarcastic sense of humor.  He'll do something silly, and if I laugh, he looks at me with a straight face and says, "oua kata Mom" (don't laugh)...then he'll start giggling.  I don't think I like that he's so sarcastic at this age.  But my hubby loves it because it's me getting a taste of my own medicine.
      
His least favorite place is time out.  He'll look at us through his thick eyelashes and says, "I'm sorry, I promise."  And we have to either fight back tears or hold in a smile as we ask him to tell us again in three minutes when timeout is up.

  
He can drive us up the wall like nobody's business.  When he's having a  tantrum or throwing his toys around, or reminding us sometimes like he's the adult to stop yelling or be nice.   

He loves to read books and forces his Daddy to read to him and sometimes he just hands his Dad one of his books to read as he "reads" his own.  They look like two little old men on opposite ends of the couch, one reading Elmo's World and the other reading Madeline.  

They are my most precious belongings.  Nothing ever purchased in life will be as valuable as they are.  Every second I breathe, I love them more.  

Riddle me this...

I am all that for girl power.  I think  women are amazing beings.  We're not only mentally strong, but physically we are just as able, if not more so than men.  But there are some things that  women do, especially to one another, that I just don't understand.    


Why do we feel that when we have nicer more expensive things than others our worth has magically gone up?  Who's scale are we measuring ourselves by?  I know it happens often with teenagers, but I've seen some adult women go for broke just trying to keep up with the Jones'.  Can we please cut this crap out all ready.  I mean, if you have the money to buy a $3000 purse, more power to you.  Work hard, play hard.  But please don't look your nose down at someone else because they don't.  If your worth lies in things...and those things are burned in a fire or lost in a flood how sad it is to think that any woman would feel that her self worth is lost also.   

When did sex become a weapon?  I mean literally women are pulling it out like it's the only card we have to play.  FYI, men who are only interested in sex will try to find another woman who's willing to give it up more easily than you.  So stop being that girl.  Actually let's all stop being that girl.  If they have no other women to keep running to, then men will be forced to find out what's inside our minds and hearts and not just what's under our clothes.  If we expect men to value us, wouldn't you agree that we have to first place a high value on ourselves?  No man's going to pay $100 for someone wearing a price tag that says $0.50.  C'mon, I'm old school, it's making me blush having to type this.  Keep your pants on and let your mind do the seducing.  We have so much more to offer than just our milkshakes...good grief.

Why do some of us feel better when we kick someone who's all ready face down in the dirt?  It's a crime against nature seeing women do this to each other.  Nobody's life is perfect and no one is perfect (grab a mirror, look into it)...that includes you.  This is for the girl who thinks that stealing a man's husband makes her the "winner."  Trust me honey, you would be on the "losers" end.  And the woman who thinks her child is better than everyone else's and she will stop at nothing, including sabatoging a poor helpless individual to put her child on top.  It's unnecessary and a little bit cuckoo.  Or the women who gossip about other women and all their horrible choices while patting themselves on the back for a job well done.  Nothing is sadder than a human being who finds joy in another's misery.  Even if they deserve it, even if they brought it upon themselves.  Who are you?  Take care of yourself and your family and don't worry about what other people are doing.  Unless they bring it to your doorstep, just let them be.  There is a wiser, kinder more just God who lives and He'll make the necessary judgments.  

Our gifts as a women are infinite, therefore we are priceless.  

Let's please behave accordingly.