Now I have gone and done it.
"It" has finally happened…
There is no longer a separation between my chin and neck.
They have become one entity.
(this isn't my chineck (chin&neck)...it's far better than mine)
How the heck did I get here?
I was literally shaking as I got on the scale…
WHAT THE…?!?!
That…Cannot. Be. Right.
But it is…and I’m a little bit angry,
Entirely at myself, because really…no one did this but me.
Mostly though I’m just sad...
Sad, sad, sad.
Sad, sad, sad.
I never thought I’d get here,
Never ever never.
But I guess you should never say never…
Unless you’re actively doing something to prevent the “never” from happening.
12 years ago, my scale read 100 lbs less,
I was a size 12 comfortably and could squeeze into 10 if required.
Was always a “big” girl.
Big bones, big hair, and a big ole’ booty.
Have never dressed my size.
Shirts were always too many sizes too big…
(case and point, I can fit a shirt I bought 11 yrs ago snuggly…like a second skin snuggly today)
And pants…well…pants were a challenge.
My hips were wide, my thighs were those of a rugby player…
And my waste belonged on a size 8 frame.
Of course today all those numbers have doubled and in some cases tripled.
I told you…
SAD, SAD, SAD.
So in staying true to the old New Year’s resolution cliché…
I’ve resolved to lose weight…
Yeah…Right.
How many times have I made this commitment before?
The only difference this time is…
I’m blogging about it.
Not just saying it to myself in my head but making it public.
Holding myself accountable to people who probably could care less,
But nevertheless…
ACCOUNTABLE.
Because my son should have a mother who can run with him at the park,
Without almost going into cardiac arrest.
I want to feel like a teenager again when I put on a pair of jeans...
Love, like a smile should come from the inside out…
My hubby deserves the hot kumala (sweet potato) he married 11 years ago…
Where is that girl?
She’s in here somewhere underneath these layers of…
Ahem…muscle…
cottage cheese bags...
er…winter padding...
Fine…
FAT.
Call it what it is.
Send me good vibes…
Cheer me on quietly…
Wish me luck…
Pray for me.
HERE GOES NOTHIN’!
5 comments:
You can do it girl!!!
SIS!!!IM HERE & ROOTIN' FOR YA!! I KNOOOOOW YOU CAN DO IT:D Anything is possible, & it won't be easy, but keep going!!Don't give up:)
Thank you Harms...I must do it.
Sis, I may need you to slap an ice cream cone outta my hand...I apologize ahead of time for the look I will give you and possibly the words I may say...LOL.
Thanks for the love ladies, it is so ON!! HA!
I am in the same boat dear! I almost fear to commit because than I am held accountable...and that is why I had to post status on it...My plan of action-to run to Grandmas house 5 days a wk-rain or shine! Also watch the eating-no eating past 8, no soda, water only! So I am in it for the long haul.... Love you sis and wish us luck on our new year endeavors! Hehe-Sia
Amen to me! I'm doing the same...My plan of action-Run to Grandma's house M-F and cutting out Diet Coke, no eating past 8 pm, and water only! I know I had to update status so I can be accountable...LOL Anyhow, good luck to our endeavors this upcoming year! Love you sis and see you soon! :)
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